Kingdom Come: Episode Adendum
by Elanquest
Summary: After Ken Sawyer tries to blow both Caitlin and Airwolf up with a bomb. The Airwolf crew return to Hawke's cabin.


Dom sighed and walked back into String's cabin. He crossed over to the bar and pulled a beer out of the small refrigerator there. String sighed as the last note of the solemn piece he was playing died. He stood and carried his cello down the stairs.

"She's just sitting on the bench staring at the lake. She keeps saying she's fine. She just needs time to think," Dom opened his beer while talking. "She hardly ate anything at dinner. I think this thing with Sawyer has brought back all that stuff with that Robert guy. I just don't know what to do with her."

Hawke frowned as he placed his cello in the protected nook by the hearth. The two incidents were very similar the end result being that he'd once again killed someone Cait had been involved with. He remembered killing Robert. He'd shot round after round into the fuselage of Robert's plane determined to stop him from firing another missile at the plane Caitlin was flying. He hadn't really intended to kill him though. If he had, he would have just fired a copperhead at the man. He remembered again the fury he'd felt when he realized Sawyer had intended to kill Caitlin. It didn't matter that he and Dom had also been potential victims. For what he put Cait through Hawke knew he would kill Sawyer one way or another. No matter how long it might take.

Dom took a healthy swig of the beer before continuing. "I'm really worried about her String. You've got to talk to her. You know she'll listen to you."

"Yeah."

Hawke deliberately unclenched his fist as he headed for the cabin door. He closed it softly behind him as Tet found a place to lie on the porch.

He took a moment to take in the dark waters of the lake and shadows of the mountains beyond letting their solid presence anchor him. Hawke waited until he felt calm and in control before he looked down to the bench beside the foot of the stairs.

Hawke could see Caitlin's red hair shining like a halo in the light from the window and felt a sudden urge to reach out and touch it. Instead, He descended the steps slowly, paused a moment, and took the few steps over to the bench to sit beside Caitlin.

They sat in silence for several minutes. Hawke waited for Dom to move away from the window where he had been watching. For some reason he didn't want to share this moment of comforting Caitlin. With Robert, it had been more about cheering Cait up. This time he sensed there was maybe more to it than that.

When the light from the window returned to full strength, Hawke broke the silence.

"Nice night," he commented.

"Hmm," Caitlin leaned back.

"So…are you thinking about just going 'til the money runs out?"

"What?" Caitlin turned to look at him.

"You know taking off." Hawke gave her a half smile. "Not stopping long enough to get involved with anyone. Running away," he winked to reinforce his teasing.

Caitlin smiled as she remembered the words she'd said to him a little over a year earlier.

"Not only do you continue to save my life, but you also correct my errors in judgment with men. Why is it the one's I really start to fall for are only interested in using me?"

Caitlin turned back to the lake not really expecting the conversation to continue. She appreciated what Hawke was trying to do, but really just wanted to think about what she was doing with her life. After the initial shock and hurt wore off Caitlin had been angry. She was angry mostly at herself for being so completely taken in by Ken.

"I didn't even know you were dating him. It must have happened pretty fast."

"He made me feel special and…wanted," Caitlin said. She looked down at her hands gathered in her lap.

All teasing gone, Hawke hugged Caitlin to him before answering. "You are special. Besides we want you."

"I know. Michael said you were going to drop everything and start looking for me as soon as you realized I was missing."

"Well you know Dom. He'd do anything for a friend. _We'll_ always be there for you."

Caitlin bit her lower lip for a moment wondering if she should say what she was really thinking about that comment. Hawke usually tended to qualify what he'd be willing to do for her with a reference to Dom as well. It was almost as if he didn't want to admit that without Dom's influence she might be more than just an acquaintance.

"Friends are one thing," she started slowly, "but sometimes it's just not enough. A girl gets lonely." She paused then continued in a low voice. "Sometimes I just want to be held."

Hawke tightened his grip around her waist pulling her closer to him. He slid his other arm around her and pressed a kiss to her head inhaling the subtle strawberry scent of her shampoo. He held her in silence a long time. His thoughts alternated between the wisdom of holding her close and the reassurance that she was okay that that same close presence provided.

When he felt her tears soak through his shirt front, he tilted her chin up. "Hey." He wiped at the silent tears with his thumb. Her eyes took on an incredible shade of grayish blue when wet. Hawke was lost in the hurt and vulnerability he saw. He glanced down at her lips feeling the desire to comfort her further and ease his own need to be sure she was going to be all right.

Caitlin moved without thinking. She closed the small space between them and kissed him just as she had earlier in the day after the bomb scare.

He returned her kiss more deeply than he intended. Covering her lips with an urgency to satisfy the ache that appeared when he was sure they'd both die in the thirty seconds left to the count on the bomb.

Surprised she started to pull back, but found Hawke's hold unyielding. Confused and unsure of what her response should be, she let him set the pace.

Hawke found himself holding Caitlin tighter than ever before and kissing her thoroughly. When she'd started to pull back, he'd been unwilling to end the moment of found intimacy. He instinctively held on to the sudden sense of belonging. They kissed a couple of more times each one decreasing in length and depth of feeling. At last they both turned to face the lake.

Caitlin's thoughts were whirling. Hawke had kissed her with more feeling than she thought he had for her. That first kiss had been the kiss of way more than friends. It was even more than the kissed they shared when she'd done her first movie stunt. She was keenly aware that he was still holding her though not as tightly as moments before.

Caitlin knew she loved Hawke. She had for some time. She didn't however know if she was in love with him. He hadn't given her any indication before now anything more than a deep friendship would be reciprocated. She needed to think about what happened both with Ken and now with Hawke. Was this his way of telling her he would be okay if they took their friendship to the next level? Or, was he just trying to comfort her in the only way he knew how? And, what about how she'd fallen for Ken? How could she not see through his manipulation and cold-hardheartedness? She shivered at the thought of just how close she'd let him get to her.

"Cold?" Hawke asked with concern.

"Yeah. I guess I'd better go in." Caitlin got to her feet slowly and made her way back into the cabin. She closed the door behind her.

Hawke watched her go frowning slightly when she closed the door. He wasn't quite sure why he was feeling disappointed, but disappointed he was. It wasn't like they could have a deeper relationship. Meaningful intimacy with him could be fatal. Every one else he'd fallen for or as with Gabrielle had contemplated falling for had died. Oh, he'd had some great rides along the way, but had always known he was only in it for the short term. He had long ago settled for close friends with Caitlin. After the events earlier in the day it seemed like even being friends put her in unnecessary danger.

Why was it that when Caitlin was in danger he switched to automatic and walled everything off just to get through it? Why was it when she was finally safe he needed to hold her to reassure himself that she was okay?

This time, he'd done more. He had kissed her with an almost desperate need. The short embrace and light kiss earlier in the day had done nothing to diminish the fear of her loss. He had needed something more substantial, more meaningful.

_Maybe,_ he told himself, _ like Caitlin sometimes I just want that deeper connection. It doesn't mean I'm falling for her. It just means I'm human._

He resolutely ignored the voice that tried to tell him Caitlin wasn't just someone to be with that she was more than a great ride, more than just a friend, much more.

_No,_ he told himself,_ she's a close friend and that's all._

He made a resolution to seek some female companionship. A little R and R should take the edge off and resettle his relationship with Cait.

Satisfied with what he told himself, Hawke took one last look at the lake and headed inside.


End file.
